FEATURE:
Palookaville Bible Dust
ALL PHOTOS (unless credited otherwise): Unsplash
Is It Possible to Achieve Your Dreams in Music?
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THIS thought is sponsored by a bit of a crossroads…
that has come into my life. In terms of my writing; I enjoy what I do and am always looking to improve and build. One of the biggest ambitions I have is to heighten my site and take it in new directions! The reason I am not pumped and racing ahead is that the ‘real life’ side of things is holding back that charge! The last couple of years have, without doubt, been the worst of my life: in a wretched job I hate and cannot get away from; unable (despite endless mailing and applications) a job in London/Manchester; taking steps backward and spending time in an area/around people I hate (except for my family). It is a horrible and stressful time and, above all, is that desire to get away, move to the city and start living – it seems like a distant dream. The half of me that is succeeding and growing is online-based and intangible. I can gauge the appreciation an artist provides after a review/interview; see the sort of people responding to the stuff I put out there; know a few people are discovering my work and taking heart from it – there is an emptiness that remains when I think about it. I love what I do – or would not dedicate all my free-time to it – but that desire to take a more physical and multimedia approach to my music is always on my brain. The only way I can subsidise my dreams, and make real progression, is to move to London/Manchester; get a better/better-paid job; go somewhere more social and pleasant – locate to an area I feel more comfortable and happy.
I know a lot of musicians in the same position: they can dream big and love music but, because of the domestic/work side of life; they feel a bit trapped and lost. This may sound like a feature that should appear in a business publication but the point remains: can you achieve anything in music if you keep passionate and remain focused? It sounds a bit New Age and quasi-philosophical: have that positive mindset and, before you know it, things will happen. I am not one who validates notions of karma, parity and fate: one must go out and earn luck. People do not get what they deserve – they get what they get, unfortunately. I feel, at thirty-four, so far behind where I want to be as a person. I know a surfeit of relationships and sociability will be amended when I relocate; a job will come soon enough – I feel like I have been enclosed for too long; not getting any breaks and unable, like a bee caught in the sun, unable to escape from a jam jar. If I were in any other industry, away from entertainment/media, I think I would be much further ahead. I would have more job opportunities and it would be simpler to go into the career of my choice. I feel, as bad as things are, my love of music and need to follow it to the ends of the Earth are keeping me ticking and in the game – able to rationalise a lack of love and happiness.
I guess every part of the media/entertainment world is difficult – not something you can easily slide into and get paid right away. A few days back; I wrote about the music media and how difficult it is getting paid work – many have to undertake unpaid internships and, with it, there is that hardship and struggle to make ends meet. I hear lots of horror stories where artists, with a lot of ambition and desire, are felled by the realities and hurdles of music. They set their sights on success and a certain game-plan: after a while, the scales fall - and those dreams they once had seem to die away. It is upsetting to see but I wonder whether more (in terms of numbers) positive messages should be put out; a way for artists/creative to keep going and be provided with some positive enforcement. I can’t imagine a more depressing and numbing environment than where I am right now – in terms of work and how far away I seem to be from the rush and excitement of London – but there are two options: make a drastic break and task a risk (knowing, if I quit a job and move there without one, I could fail) or remain where I am, put the hours into my writing, and hope that it pays off. The former option is more attractive and tempting: the latter is the one I have to abide by...
IN THIS PHOTO: Clairo/PHOTO CREDIT: Pinterest
I will come to possible solutions and industry-wide schemes but, when thinking about survival mechanisms – I have been looking at a couple of recent interviews with artists; making points that resonate with me. Clairo, a young YouTube star, might not be the first person one would study for perceived wisdom and inspiration – that is no slight but the preconception we have of certain artists. The U.S. artist has played sold-out gigs and, when speaking (recently) with Pitchfork talked about her rise and a successful 2017. She is a freshman (excuse the academic-based sexist term!) at Syracuse University and hopes to have an E.P. out soon. It will be, as she says, a sort of bedroom-era version of what she has done before. Whether that means dorm-made recordings – or lyrical arcs that look at the vicissitudes of home and a personal space – I am not sure. Songs like Pretty Girl have lodged in critics’ heads and, releasing it as part of a female/non-binary cassette compilation; the song is a wise and investigative number looking at how one can lose themselves along the way. Not only does the song connect but the way she is doing things is compelling. Rather than chase music and think big without a back-up-net; she is studying and recording in her spare time. Rather than become disappointed and make unrealistic plans; that pragmatic and practical approach to music is humbling.
IN THIS PHOTO: Rina Sawayama/PHOTO CREDIT: Getty Images
Another artist, Rina Sawayama, has looked at the addiction to social media on her self-titled mini-album. Songs like Ordinary Superstar and Cyber Stockholm Syndrome talk of YouTube vloggers and how we substitute real-life for the digital one. The interview she conducted with The Guardian got me thinking about something bothering me: how far along some of these YouTube ‘stars’ are; how dependent I am on social media. There are contractions when looking at Sawayama. She writes about those, like a drug, hooked on social media: she, herself, spends time on social media and, when at her most anxious, writes about that feeling. The East Asian writer is adapting to life in the Western world; creating something rare in this country – a lot of what she is putting out saying. It makes me think about how I approach journalism and live my life. I am too focused on the Internet and hoping things will happen there: getting out there and being able to wean myself from the screen is the biggest flaw I have. I feel you can achieve anything in music but there is a caveat: ensuring the time spent on social media/the Internet is right. That might sound subjective but, from my viewpoint, I am writing too much – when I could be out there handing out C.V.s – and assume, unless I am mega-busy all the time, I will get overlooked and forgotten – or my fingers will atrophy from lack of work!
The subcutaneous effects of social media mean we spend far too much time away from people – thinking all our answers and luck will come from there. I feel a lot of my malaise and depression stems from over-dependence on writing and unable to escape a trap: getting out there and feeling confident taking a few days off here and there might be a more sensible approach? I think all us creative types get too focused on grand ideas and goals; an unrealistic picture that we, inevitably, fail to live up to – maybe that is to do with the media and their ideals; the pressure and competition we see on social media. I know I will never be a one-man Pitchfork but I also know my work matters. Finding that middle-ground and reassurance is what makes the difference – that can only come from human interaction and feeling comfortable about your job/life/psychological well-being. My five-year business plan includes a professional writing/media gigs (radio or press); spending time in Australia, the U.S. and traveling the U.K.; settling in London/Manchester and, essentially (socially) making up for a lot of lost time. The core ambition I have is to keep the blog going but make it more interactive, visual and ambitious. The sticky-wicket is when I understand how that can be achieved: getting a job that pays me the money so I can afford to that – taking me back to the initial point and the bind I am in.
Many of us dream large and a lot of our depression and anxiety comes when we consider how far we have come; we deem ourselves ‘failures’ if we do not achieve everything right away – forgetting how important realisations and small (positive) steps are. Age does not matter – if you are not a big deal by a certain time – and change can occur if you take sensible steps to break out of a bad mindset/rut. That is the position I am in: I need to get out of a depressing funk and start thinking about things like work, living and location – rather than become too obsessed with writing every hour and feeling social media visibility is the way I will get that ‘dream job’. One of the biggest issues I have encountered is the fact most of the opportunities out there are advertised online. I have to spend a certain amount of time researching but, whilst I am on my laptop; there is that temptation to write and go on social media. Breaking that habit is hard but, in the long-run, is it the best thing to do. No matter how lofty your aims are, there is a way of achieving it. I hear of artists who want to get their music played on the national stations. Everyone is vying for the same honour – it makes things harder; working for visibility in a crowded sea. It may take longer than you’d hoped but, with persistence and patience, it can happen. You can contact these stations and keep them abreast of all your material; find ways of spreading the song to the people – the more people who hear it; the bigger it becomes and, in time, that gets to the big guns.
So much of modern music is about artists striving for something that justifies the work and time they put into things. A certain amount of Internet-time is required but it is important not to measure success and ‘worth’ based on other people. The media and music scene is open to everyone and there is no race to get to the top. I understand competition is tough but setting smaller goals (at first) and making those all-important connection is paramount. Every year, draw a plan of what you want to achieve and plan how you will go about doing that. Set aside a small amount of time every day and do something productive – even if it is emailing radio stations or booking gigs. I am taking this approach and, after a couple of bad personal years; I am ensuring I give myself enough time to find that acceptable work-life (social and actual) balance. Spending less time frittering time on social media – and seeing it as a replacement for human contact – spend your online time building your career and making concerted, daily steps towards the summit. The reason I have been so down is (because) I’m judging myself against bigger websites and sources: they all have teams and, as hard as I work, I could never match them (for quality or popularity). Reaching a few new people every day is a massive victory. It may not be a headline slot at Glastonbury but see music as a years-long career that will provide small gifts every year. I am determined to take a much healthier, pragmatic approach to 2018. I have dreams – and want to achieve them all – but, rather than get them all realised this year; I am setting myself longer-term goals and, in the process, providing more time to relax and become more sociable. Happiness and personal fulfilment are more important than anything out there. Every artist/writer can reach what they set their mind to – just don’t get hooked on chasing others and seeing surging too far ahead. See this fresh year as one that will bring success but may not, necessarily…
SEE all your dreams realised.