FEATURE:
Tracks of My Years
A Revision: The One Song That Means the Most to Me
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THIS is a subject that I am returning to…
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because, back in 2015, I first tackled this hard question. Back then, I selected Tears for Fears’ Everybody Wants to Rule the World as the track that matters the most to me. It is interesting pondering the songs that make up our lives and why they are so pivotal. That track was included on the Scottish band’s 1985 album, Songs from the Big Chair, and that huge hit was all over the radio. I must have heard that song for the first time when I was about three in 1986. It might have been slightly before that, but I know that song was my first memory of life – that is why I highlighted it as the most important song in my life. One cannot discount how powerful a moment like that is; when music comes into your life, that particular song holds huge power. If I was to be on Desert Island Discs – not that this would ever happen! -, the one record I would save from the waves if Tears for Fears’ Everybody Wants to Rule the World. Every time I hear the track, I am transported back to a very special time; the literal first memory of life. From the glistening, charging introduction to the incredible chorus, it is a song that stands up to the test of time and actually sound relevant today – tragic as that might sound (the track is about politicians vying for power and trying to wipe out one another). I do love the track and, if push comes to shove, it would be the one song I would save from a fire (or a wave).
I have been readdressing the subject because I saw a tweet where several personalities were talking in London at an event where they discussed the song that matters the most to them. Although Everybody Wants to Rule the World is my first life memory and one of my favourite tracks, I wanted to re-explore my feature from four years ago. There are other tracks that evoke hugely powerful memories and are vital parts of my life. As a massive Kate Bush fan, I think back to when I first encountered her music. That would have been when I saw the video for Them Heavy People (from her debut album, The Kick Inside, of 1978) when I was a child. There are songs from The Beatles that bring me back to my childhood and, through school, there are varied tracks that have scored some great days. From a unique and unexpected occasion in middle school to the sounds of The Shamen’s Ebeneezer Goode to my high school prom where Sixpence None the Richer’s Kiss Me and Basement Jaxx’s Red Alert, for different reasons, had a big effect on me. At every stage of life, there have been songs to soundtrack and score my growth and experiences. I am thankful for all of them, regardless of how minor they seem. I love that I can recall songs that were played when heading off to family holidays (and unexpected trips to Butlin’s in Bognor Regis where I was taken out of school by surprise) and those that were played in the family house.
There have been few songs from recent times that have defined big moments, but I know there will be more to come. We all have songs that mean something to us for different reasons. Madonna’s Material Girl was one of the first music videos I saw; The Prodigy’s Firestarter and Beastie Boys’ Intergalactic take me back to a very happy time at school. There are so many more that, to anyone else, would not mean anything at all. One of the great things about streaming services and sites like YouTube is the fact we can all play those songs that give us that blast and memories. As memories fade and we lose a lot of our past, the music is still there and can help keep the past tangible. Why does it matter which song is most important and why update a line of thought from four years ago? Well. For one thing, we do not often focus our musical love to a single song. We live in a time where there is pretty much every song released available in some form or the other. There is so much music out there and, whilst we have tracks that are always in our head, how often do we sit back and think about the song that means the most?! I maintain the importance of Tears for Fears’ Everybody Wants to Rule the World, but I think there is a single track that not only takes me back to childhood but provides inspiration to this day: Steely Dan’s Deacon Blues. It is my favourite song ever and is from the band’s 1977 album, Aja. Again, a few years back, I wrote about the song in the same way as I did Everybody Wants to Rule the World.
The reason Deacon Blues is the most important song to me is because, as I said earlier, it connects me with my childhood but is giving me guidance and purpose now. Steely Dan were played in my house when I was young, but I always associate Deacon Blues with my late aunt – she would play them a lot and I think I first heard Deacon Blues whilst in her company. That period of my life was very special and I associate the song with some very important memories. Deacon Blues means a lot to me not only because of a sense of nostalgia but, in its lyrics, I sort of identified to an extent. I am going to bring in a feature where its creators Walter Becker (who died in 2017) and Donald Fagen talk about the song and its story. A lot of my favourite songs are in my head because they are fun and make me feel better: Deacon Blues means so much because I can find wisdom in the lyrics. That might sound a strange thing to admit because, as you can see from this feature, the hero of the track is not someone many would aspire to be:
“Donald Fagen: Walter and I wrote “Deacon Blues” in Malibu, Calif., when we lived out there. Walter would come over to my place and we’d sit at the piano. I had an idea for a chorus: If a college football team like the University of Alabama could have a grandiose name like the “Crimson Tide,” the nerds and losers should be entitled to a grandiose name as well.
Walter Becker: Donald had a house that sat on top of a sand dune with a small room with a piano. From the window, you could see the Pacific in between the other houses. “Crimson Tide” didn’t mean anything to us except the exaggerated grandiosity that’s bestowed on winners. “Deacon Blues” was the equivalent for the loser in our song.
Mr. Fagen: When Walter came over, we started on the music, then started filling in more lyrics to fit the story. At that time, there had been a lineman with the Los Angeles Rams and the San Diego Chargers, Deacon Jones. We weren’t serious football fans, but Deacon Jones’s name was in the news a lot in the 1960s and early ‘70s, and we liked how it sounded. It also had two syllables, which was convenient, like “Crimson.” The name had nothing to do with Wake Forest’s Demon Deacons or any other team with a losing record. The only Deacon I was familiar with in football at the time was Deacon Jones.
Mr. Becker: Unlike a lot of other pop songwriting teams, we worked on both the music and lyrics together. It’s not words and music separately, but a single flow of thought. There’s a lot of riffing back and forth, trying to top each other until we’re both happy with the result. We’ve always had a similar conception and sense of humor.
IN THIS PHOTO: Walter Becker (left) and Donald Fagen in Los Angeles in 1975/PHOTO CREDIT: Ed Caraeff/Getty Images
Mr. Fagen: Say a guy is living at home at his parents’ house in suburbia. One day, when he’s 31, he wakes up and decides he wants to change the way he struts his stuff.
Mr. Becker: Or he’s making a skylight for his room above the garage and when the hole is open he feels the vibes coming in and has an epiphany. Or he’s playing chess games against himself by making moves out of a book and cheating.
A mystical thing takes place and he’s suddenly aware of his surroundings and life, and starts thinking about his options. The “fine line” we use in the song [“So useless to ask me why / Throw a kiss and say goodbye / I’ll make it this time / I’m ready to cross that fine line”] is the dividing line between being a loser and winner, at least according to his own code. He’s obviously tried to cross it before, without success.
Deacon Blues, like so many other songs, takes me back to a period when I was discovering music and learning so much about myself. When I first heard Deacon Blues, I was fairly new to Steely Dan and was being exposed to this incredible sound; where musicianship was paramount and there was more than a catchy chorus or something commercial – it was so much about the feel and true depth of music.
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Living in the city and trying to make a career out of music journalism, I can emphasise with the hero of Deacon Blues: a man who has no solid plan but has a certain optimism that is hard to ignore. I adore all the layers of the song and the fact it is so nuanced; a glorious combination of musicians performing this stunning song. Every time I play the track, I get something new from it. There is this feeling in the song that our hero will find his way and, as a bit of an anti-hero, there is something quite charming about his stumbling plight. Deacon Blues is a song that celebrates those who lose and, whilst that is not something to aspire to in life, I am inspired by the spirit of the song. I feel better when listening to Deacon Blues; I feel stronger and, at the same time, more reflective. Also, I strive to be better and not give in when listening to the track – what more could one ask for?! Maybe other songs will replace Deacon Blues as the most meaningful to me but, as it has struck me quite hard, I doubt anything can dislodge it anytime soon! After being inspired after seeing a tweet – regarding a few well-known people discussing the most meaningful song to them -, I was thinking about music and a song that holds power over the rest. We all play so much music of a day, and I do wonder whether we consider the power and importance of certain tracks. I have found catharsis and a sense of hope thinking about songs that matter the most to me and, ultimately, that one that stands out from the rest. If you get the time, have a think about those tracks you carry deep inside you and that special one that…
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MEANS the most to you.