FEATURE:
That! Feels Good!
IN THIS PHOTO: Jessie Ware/PHOTO CREDIT: Jack Grange/Press
Sex-Positivity in Music
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WHILST the title…
PHOTO CREDIT: Ikon Republik/Pexels
of Jessie Ware’s new album, That! Feels Good! Applies to a few different things, one could also link it to a satisfaction when it comes to love and sex. The album is euphoric and uplifting, but there is plenty of personal insight. This is Jessie Ware’s best album to date, and the reviews it has accrued so far suggest that it could be among the very best albums of this year. There is not a whole lot that will topple it. It seems that Ware has found where she needs to be, musically – and the artist that she really wants to be. There is definite sex-positivity through the album. I think there is difference between using sexuality and sex appeal to sell music and comply with what a label wants you to do, and using sex-positivity because it feels right and it is something that you want to say. It still happens today, but there was a time in music not that long ago where you wondered whether artists were using sex and sexuality because it was something they were comfortable With, or whether it was the label and other songwriters doing that because it sells and would be provocative. Maybe this applied to women more, but you always wondered if some of the big Pop and R&B artists of the '90s and early-'00s were releasing this sexual and very charged songs because this was true to them and something they needed to say. Was this marketing and a way for the label to make them commercial and standout right away?!
Sex and sexuality are used and discussed in different ways. There was a time when there were these songs that courted press attention because of their content and vibe. If some saw them as too risqué and sexualised, I think it was a combination of artists claiming independence and pushing boundaries. There was also a bit of the labels leaning too heavy on sex to sell records. Things have progressed in many ways, but I think there are still artists signed to major labels where their sexuality and attractiveness is used more as a way to sell rather than it being okay with the artist. Alongside this, we are seeing incredible artists putting out sex-positive messages and expounding the joys of feeling good and embracing something very natural and affirmative! There are artists too where the agenda is a bit more raw and direct. Perhaps more to do with brief flings and instant satisfaction, that is perfectly valid and inspiring too. I think, if the message is bad and something reckless and potentially unsafe is said through song, then that is when things get complicated. Also, if artists are not comfortable singing about sex – but it is something that they have been directed to do – then that is also a dangerous area. In February, Kai Goulder wrote a piece for The Courier (The Voice of Newcastle Students) and discussed whether using sex in music is a good or a bad thing:
“Artist’s using their bodies to sell music, such as by making a raunchy music video, or giving a provocative live performance is nothing new, and when it is done, it’s commonly met with criticism.
We’re living in an era where sex positivity is much more embraced, and the sex positive movement tells us that we should have no shame in enjoying sex and finding sexual pleasure in whatever we find attractive or seductive, so why shouldn’t artists use their sex appeal in the way that they want to? It can arguably be good for fans to help them explore their own sexuality and take pleasure from it.
This could help fans who are discovering their own sexuality to explore it and possibly come to terms with it, if they come from a background that hasn’t allowed them to do so yet.
There are always going to be artists that don’t use sex appeal to sell music, for example Joni Mitchell has made it clear that she is somewhat against artists sexualising themselves and using it to sell music. There’s also the option to just listen to an artist’s music and not interact with them otherwise, and therefore the only aspect of their sex appeal being used that you might notice is on an album cover, for example.
However, there tends to be a lack of diversity in the way that celebrity sex appeal is displayed. Only seeing a certain type of body sexualised can make people feel as though they aren’t sexy if they don’t look that way, but this is changing! Lizzo, for example, quite simply said “I know I’m fat. It doesn’t bother me”. There’s always the assumption that being fat is automatically unhealthy and bad. Larger bodies exist, and therefore should be able to be admired and self-sexualised in the same way. On the subject of Lizzo, a prominent black artist, there is also the issues surrounding the way that black artists tend to be over sexualised and fetishised.
Some artists may feel pressured to use sex appeal and feel it is the best way to sell their music, particularly women. There is a difference in the way that male and female artists are sexualised, and women see a lot more pressure to look and behave younger compared to male artists.
Using sex appeal to sell music is not inherently bad and can be extremely healthy and positive, and of course many of us find artists attractive and enjoy their sex appeal. However, the use of sex appeal should not be something that artists are pressured into, and only done by choice, if they feel comfortable”’.
When thinking about an artist like Jessie Ware, there is another interesting point. Being a mother to too young children, maybe society and the industry feels this is something not conducive with sex-positive and being sexual in any way. I do wonder whether there is a perception that women who have children cannot talk about sex! Jessie Ware, as she explained to People recently, is a sex-positive artist. She revealed how she is prudish too, but there is this importance to promote this progressive, open and unashamed attitude towards sex. It does not too be lurid or controversial. Rather, this is an artist having fun. No doubt that her That! Feels Good! Will influence many other artists and listeners alike:
“I was going to say — are all those sexual conquests in "Shake the Bottle" real?
Come on, I've been with my husband for 20 years! [Laughs] But it's fun. I think it's fun to put on an outfit. Whereas my mask, before, would be a strong suit and some makeup and a double hair bun in the first record; now, it's characters. Creating characters has opened up songwriting and storytelling for me. It's inspired by people like Grace Jones, RuPaul, B-52's. It's meant to be fun. And it is quite camp.
And your music is very sex-positive.
It's funny — it's like I'm having sex all the time. I'm definitely not! I'm really quite prudish.
Where does that come from then?
Probably wanting to have sex more! [Laughs] But there's power in feeling confident and proud of who you are. I think I feel very comfortable with myself. And so it's about pushing it a bit further. And I think that that's probably something that I've had to tell myself to be, and now I've said it enough times, it's drilled into my brain being sex-positive, and it's fun. It's what I enjoy writing about. It's what I think other people enjoy, too. It's not meant to be taken too seriously. It's meant to be enjoyed, with a nudge-nudge, wink-wink, you know?
There's a line in "Pearls" that says, "I'm a lady / I'm a lover, a freak and a mother." I'm curious, is that because when you have kids, society kind of says you can't be a sexual being anymore?
I think you're right. I mean, I've never thought about it like that... It's almost like a rebellion against all the kind of stereotypes we're given as being mothers, as being women in music and mothers — and me to own it. And whilst I try to own it in album three [2017's Glasshouse], where actually I was really struggling trying to straddle both worlds, now I'm like, "Take it or leave it. This is me, and I feel good, and I know what I'm doing." It felt quite fun and powerful to say that. And I do wear many hats, so it felt right to have a nod to all of them; I'm all these things”.
Maybe the dynamic and narrative has changed. When you see many mainstream Pop artists, you get the feeling that their songs about sex and sexual liberation are more from them and they are comfortable with – rather than it being something the label have made them do. There are male artists discussing sex in a positive and empowering way. An artist like Sam Smith can talk about hook-ups and the thrill and satisfaction of a brief tryst without it sending a bad message. Smith has revealed how they are a sexual being, and it is empowering for them and their audience to hear these body and sex-positive messages! This wave of sex-positive songs is not new. In 2021, Varsity wrote how artists such as Doja Cat and Janelle Monáe are helping to empower their female audience:
“In “Body Language”, Doja Cat croons ‘We ain’t afraid of sexuality’. A quick glance at her song names, including the tracks “Down Low”, “Cyber Sex”, “Bottom Bitch” and “Talk Dirty”, confirms this. The 25-year-old-rapper and singer always sounds like she is enjoying herself, revelling both in her sexual prowess and her musical virtuosity. Punning irreverently about her vagina and breasts in “Rules”, she reaches an impressive flow, which has led to comparisons with Kendrick Lamar: ‘you don’t dive in that pussy like dolphins If he don’t dive in that pussy like oceans, Twins look identically like Olsens’. Her songs express her desires with confidence and poise. “Addictions” is a disco bonanza of lust about ‘an itch I just can’t scratch’, while the rap chorus of “Rules” asserts her boundaries: ‘Play with my pussy, but don’t play with my emotions.’ Female masturbation, often taboo in pop-culture, inspires a gleeful rap verse in “Cyber Sex”. The singer also embraces the theatricality of sexuality and its rich potential as a source of self-expression in her often elaborately-costumed music videos and the playful song “Freak”. This is just one of many of her hits which has gone viral on Tik-Tok. Hopefully, the millions of teenagers dancing along to her unashamed celebrations of sexuality will grow to see their sexuality as she represents hers: under their control and for their own pleasure.
Janelle Monae also fuses pop and rap to celebrate sexuality’s fun and empowering potential. The 35-year-old actor, rapper, singer and activist is so committed to sex-positivity that she provided the voiceover for Netflix’s 2020 educational docuseries ‘Sex, Explained’. Her musical pride in her sexuality intersects with her celebration of blackness and femininity. The non-binary singer’s Twitter bio reads ‘pro nows they/she/them/her/freeassmuthafucka’, because in 2018 she came out as pansexual in a Rolling Stone cover story by declaring “I consider myself to be a free-ass motherfucker.” Her 2018 album Dirty Computer was accompanied by a 48-minute-long ‘emotion picture’ depicting a fantasy world where rebels and misfits, mostly the young, black, sexually empowered and queer, are hunted down as ‘dirty computers.’
Monae’s music vocally protests societal stigmatisation of female and queer sexualities and is far more political than Doja Cat. In “Q.U.E.E.N” (originally entitled Q.U.E.E.R) she chants: ‘Even if it makes others uncomfortable, I will love who I am’ like a mantra. At shows, she encourages her audience, often composed primarily of adolescent girls, to shout: ‘I’m dirty and I’m proud!’. “Screwed” shifts from carefree sexual hedonism to anger against financial and corporeal oppression of women: ‘Hundred men telling me to cover up my areolas/ while they’re blocking equal pay.’
Sexuality in Monae’s music can also be playful. “Make me feel!” is an upbeat romp through lust and love, with catchy synth and a tongue-click beat that was produced by her mentor Prince: ‘It’s like I’m powerful with a little bit of tender! An emotional sexual bender.’ The verse of “Pynk” alludes erotically to different parts of the female anatomy, before bursting into a chorus of ‘I like that!’ The music video epitomises feminine pride: Janelle and her backing dancers wear elaborate pink ‘vagina’ trousers. Monae is extremely aware of the empowering influence of her music, particularly for the culturally underrepresented black queer community. In conversation with the New York Times, she said “I’m proud when everybody is taking agency over their image and their bodies.” When she tells us to ‘Hit the mute button. Let the vagina have a monologue’, we should listen because what she has to say is well worth our time.
By giving sexuality an infectious new soundtrack, Doja Cat and Janelle Monae allow their predominately young listeners to see sex and sexuality positively: something to sing, dance and rap proudly about in the public eye, rather than a taboo to be hushed up. With Doja Cat and Janelle playing , we can rap in defiance of stigma, and celebrate our desires on the dance floor. As Doja Cat sings in “Cyber Sex”, ‘What a time to be alive!”.
PHOTO CREDIT: Polina Tankilevitch/Pexels
Body and sex-positivity often works hand in hand. Being free to explore sex and confidently talk about the body and the physical without it being needlessly X-rated or doing it just for shock value. Also, sex-positivity in music is a wide prism. It can be accompanied by a Disco or Pop background. It can be more intense and explicit in terms of its lyrics, but it can be a positive message where there are no barriers or strings. Sending out the message – to women and non-binary fans – to be proud of your body and not be ashamed of sex. Fizzy Mag wrote about Kim Petras’ music and how it is bringing sex-positivity to the forefront and the masses. The German-born artist is definitely inspiring a huge number of people:
“All this sex positivity goes even further when it comes to Petras’ fans. A white, drop-arm sleeveless tank top donned by a fan reads, ‘I like Kim Petras and sucking cock.’ To the point and on the nose, just like Petras herself. This sex-positive attitude is empowering and changes attitudes generally towards sex and pleasure. In particular for the queer community. It seems tongue-in-cheek and funny, but the fact that a woman that has just scored a top 5 spot on the Billboard Hot 100 is promoting sex- and body-positive attitudes for everyone, regardless of gender and sexuality is a monumental step forward. Not to mention that she looks absolutely amazing while doing so. Go stream Slut Pop. Do it for the future.
Everyone’s heard UNHOLY by Sam Smith ft. Kim Petras. It’s been playing everywhere since it came out. But religious imagery, sin, and sex have been on brand for Kim Petras long before this song blessed us.
For example, her most recent album release is titled Slut Pop, featuring tracks such as Treat Me Like A Slut, and Throat Goat. While initially amusing, it’s very empowering to hear women coming forward and embracing their sexuality directly, with no airs or graces about it. However, it’s not just her music that Kim Petras has been using to promote sex-positive attitudes but also her fashion and style.
For example, her most recent musical release was the single If Jesus Was A Rockstar. Not only does this put sexual themes into religious contexts, but all of the promo and album artwork shows Petras in mini-skirts, American flag wrap tops, crop tops, and knee-high boots, all from different angles. This body positivity and, frankly, the strike back at religious conservatism via music and fashion is refreshing to see. The song absolutely slaps, by the way”.
I wanted to look at sex-positivity in music, as it is becoming more common and talked-about. As I said, I think attitudes and perceptions about sex have changed through the years. It has always been an essential part of music, but there have been periods where artists were seen as too revealing or using sex to sell music. You can use sex to sell music without it being a bad thing. If a label is guiding their artist in a bad direction and using them as a tool in that sense, then that is really bad. Whether sex-positivity is a cipher or out there and proud, it is encouraging and amazing seeing artists like Petras and Ware use sex-positivity in different and interesting ways. It is so important to spotlight sex-positivity…
IF it feels good!